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| Well Looky Here |
[11.10.05 - 6.33pm] |
I found this picture in one of my junior high year books. This is the man, behind bars, that I love, who says loves me... Yes my love life is insane, but that's where I feel comfortable.
I rolled so hard when I found him in it... With his long hair, and out dated shirt... He looks like he's pulling the same thing everyone else was back in 1998, the grunge look.
He's still just as handsome though. My baby Jason <3.
|
|
| Living and breathing |
[11.7.05 - 2.43am] |
So much bullshit is happening. I get one thing straightened out just to have another fuck up. I'm pretty sure FUCKED MY FUCK up... seeing as how it was one of her really good friends, Jamie. We had already set the time to hang out and talked about what we wanted to do, it even got dirty.... And now he wasn't home, and she won't talk to me on the phone. I'm never ever going to get laid appearantly.
I have no game. After a year and ten months, would you have any?
|
|
| Fucking Shit |
[9.15.05 - 11.28pm] |
Right now I'm just aggrevated and sexually frustrated. Not only that, I changed my major and now I have to do shit loads of work for something i know nothing about, and then i was just coasting. However, I met a rad chick, Candi, and we skip lunch to go get stoned with each other, have a good time... And she has danke weed.. What little time I have I play City of Heroes.. It's pretty addictive.
FUCKING A. Life is pretty mellow at the moment.. and I don't like it.
|
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| Whoops?? |
[8.9.05 - 5.53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 distressed |
] |
Well this is how the story goes...
Chris went back to Charlotte to get some things straightened out..
And supposedly he's coming back...
but we both think I may have a bun in the oven.. aka i could be pregnant...
Hmm..
So.. I quit taking my birth control... just in case..
and for those of you who know about it, as soon as you stop
you should go through your monthly thingy... (sorry guys)...
2 days counting and I haven't.
Okay enough cuz i don't want to think about it...
Myspace you should add me :)
|
|
| HAHAHAHAHA! |
[7.26.05 - 8.52pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 Flippin' Extatic |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Pussy Cat Dolls - Don't Cha |
] |
I fixed my computer.
.... appearently since my Norton had fucked up, I was invaded
by all sorts of trojans and shit and now they're gone...
after hours of formatting and re-installing drivers I'm back up again.
I'm so sorry guys, I will be on you all like white on rice, on a paper plate, in a snow storm ♥
Thanks for being patient
|
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| Jesus Christ |
[7.20.05 - 12.32am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
Happy go Lucky |
] |
First and foremost i want to appologize for not writing any sooner.
My browser and internet have been fucked up for some time
but i do have news
Chris and his roommate got evicted from their appartment in boone and now
Chris is living with me. Well, untill he gets up enough money to get a place
of his own in Ashe. He got a job working at Geno's here and it looks like we are
on our way. I want you to know that i love this boy and this boy loves me
Today is our one month anniversary and we both know that we are going to be
together for a long time.
Seems to be perfect.
love, family ... everything
My brother and him have become quick best friends
and my father loves him to death and has already started talking
about helping him build his own chopper...
We've talked about living together and "everything" that goes along with that...
I really don't want to type it out because you'd think I'm crazy...
But I am crazy over this boy.
Anywho, I'm doing great and now that he's here i can use his laptop he says anytime i wish
so perhaps i'll get to talk to you guys and more and read your stuff and see how your lives are going.
I'm very sorry that my computer's a piece.
I'll try to get it fixed asap... but atleast i can get on this thing every once and a while
You guys take care and I'll be back soon.
|
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| Tired... |
[6.27.05 - 2.24pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 ZzZZZzzZzzZzzz |
] |
I spent a whole five days with chris.. here and there...
there and here and he went home yesterday..
I miss him so..
he misses me...
Have to get back out to boone..
OH!
I traded my 300zx for a blazer, so I could get around..
I can get to boone, just need the $$$$...
=)
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| Tarot Reading |
[6.18.05 - 11.42am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 In Pain |
] |
Now I love this site, sometimes it's vague but for the most part it's really correct.
Clickity Click
how you feel about yourself now (The Star)
You feel there is hope, or if you don’t, have faith - a tranquil period is imminent. If you have been ill, suffered bereavement or disappointment in love, take heart, good fortune is on its way. New horizons are indicated and you will feel a new zest for life. This is your wish card - if considering a new love affair, new job or career, or travel, then go for it. You may also receive a gift or gifts!
(I did recieve some flowers!... and I've suffered this week like a son of a b...)
what you most want at this moment (The Chariot)
The cards suggest Tara, that what you most want at this time is success, to win and not give up the fight. You are successful and assertive in most things, or if you haven’t quite got the success you want, you will get it. This is a time of movement and change - expect a journey relating to work, or if you want that car you’ve been looking at, go get it.
(I know what I want to win, someone's heart... I can do it)
your fears (Temperance)
You are afraid that this period of harmony in your relationship or life in general is not going to last. Perhaps you are afraid a rival is going to cause conflict or already is and threatens to upset the peace and tranquillity you are enjoying. Any quarrels will be short lived so just try and enjoy the moment for what it is. If life is not joyful and tranquil at the moment you may fear that it never will be, take heart and be patient and life will soon have a sense of normality again.
(Yeah, someone could fuck it up)
what is going for you (The Emperor)
You are self-assured and more than capable of influencing people or events to achieve what you want. What’s more, support and guidance from your father, husband/partner or a man of significance in your life is there for the asking. Go for it!
what is going against you (Judgement)
If you allow fear to stop you from taking a chance or a new possibility then you will lose out. Do not ignore the new opportunities being presented to you - a decision, new job or relationship could change your life for the better. Do not refuse change when change at this time is vital - feel the fear and do it anyway. Outcomes may well be delayed, however this is a time for positive action and not passiveness.
(Fear?! HA!.. I fear nothing!)
outcome (The Hermit)
This is a time for you to be alone or may herald a time of loneliness. Take this time for quiet introspection and rest. Don’t worry you will find the answers, but the Hermit signals a warning not to make hasty decisions. If you have been unwell this is a time for rest and recuperation.
(yeah i've just wanted to be alone... I've been thinking and resting.. )
Yahoo
Daily Extended:
Stop going in circles -- like being on a merry-go-round, it's lots of fun at first, but then after a few minutes, you could start to feel just a touch nauseous. Even if you're not sure where you want to go just yet, it's imperative that you clear your head before you make any big decisions. Take your time and move at your own pace while you're at it -- rushing into something could be a big mistake.
Daily Flirt:
You thought weekends were a time for relaxation, didn't you? Today is no day off, emotionally speaking. You're going to have to work to achieve this level of drama. (But shhh -- don't tell anyone you're having fun.)
Daily Couples:
Today's probably not the best day for details. Everything looks a little fuzzy around the edges. Why not go for a long walk with your sweetie instead? Nature helps clear the mind.
Daily Singles:
Thank goodness you're not one of those romantic doormats who confuses any kind of attention with adoration! You deserve the real thing, and you know it. Don't settle for less, even if it's tempting.
|
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| More Time |
[6.17.05 - 8.09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 Calm |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Joss Stone - Breath |
] |
Well seeing as how i'm going to be laid up for a few days I have the oppertunity to right more i s'pose.
Everyone's seen the accident pics and heard the story... but there's more than that going on in my life.
Todd left me last March, and it's been well over a year since he's been gone. After he left me and broke me in half I didn't need anyone... for a year I didn't need anything... but everyone has "needs"...
I met Chris around December and we talked forever online all the time... and recently (about 3 or 4 weeks ago) we met up and we've been great together...
We aren't "dating" or "friends with benefits"... we are what we are and I'm perfectly fine with that... it feels nice to have no lable on what we have because it's so cliche, but it's like something I've never had so it fits...
We play together so good, just like middle school kids... he makes me laugh and feel, and I knew for a fact after Todd I wouldn't. It's adorable playing around with him and "beating around the bush".. I didn't expect this for the summer. When we are serious together the air gets thick and both of us get this silly smile and I'll blush and turn away... I'm confused as hell but at the same time very comfortable in whatever it is we have... Sure, I'm afraid of being hurt or being used, but it's a chance you always have to take appearently. I've learned plenty of lessons from broken hearts and life circumstances so what's this going to hurt, right? I healed from Todd and Chris is part of that because he got close to me by opening a new door that i didn't know was there.. first and foremost, he's a really great friend... and every day that we spend together I care for him a little bit more.
But when he gets that sly smile on his face I know there's so much more. I tell him to open up, but it's not that easy because I'm having a hard time too... I'm not pushing anything or wanting anything for once.. For once i'm not like "I have to impress this boy" or "I want him to love me"... it's just so unbelievably calming to have what it is... I can't even explain it, it's just there. We are just there. I guess you could say I'm looking forward to seeing what it becomes but I'm not impatient...
I haven't had a good chance to write how I feel or even think it all out... that's why I'm writing, I do much better thinking and figuring it out when I can read it and edit it. I like him... Like is a vague word yes.. but I really do like him.. and again, it's odd because (another cliche) it's nothing I've ever experienced or felt before...
My perseption on the whole thing is that we are building something.. Whether we end up just friends or more... it's comforting... I think it can only get better... both of us are so similar, we get hurt easily and take things to heart... but then we talk about it, and we know everything's alright.. that whatever we did wasn't meant the way the other percieved it to be...
I guess this is enough rambling but I'm happy right now....
I'm liking the happy... I'm liking this boy.. I'm liking the summer.. I'm liking everything that comes my way and I'm not worried about anything really.
It's just nice to have someone real to talk to.
But thanks for reading if you did and stuff :)
And Chris if you are reading.... goodness me, that's opening up for a minute don't you think??
;]
|
|
| My Wounds |
[6.16.05 - 10.47pm] |
I didn't take the bandages off for all of them because they are much worse... my ass .. god, my skin is gone and it's bigger than a softball, blue and red and bloody... so here's what I was comfortable with showing...
Under my butt..
My Chin
My Elbow
My Hand, broken blood vessles, it's sprained (?? spelling)
My left hip
My left leg
Left leg with no bandage, my ass is like 20 times worse...
Right arm
Right Elbow
Right Knee
Right knee no bandage...
My right side and back...
|
|
| Accidents Happen |
[6.16.05 - 9.33am] |
So me and my bro were in a motorcycle accident yesterday on our way back from boone on 421 going about 60 miles an hour.
I have gaping wounds and a sprained wrist but I'll be okay.
Just an update.
i have over 12 abrasions bigger than a softball and i'm bloody and in pain.
But the ER gave me vicoden so i should be okay for a few days.
I look like i was ran over....
EDIT
It wasn't my bro's fault.. he was driving extra careful for me cuz i was scared to death.
It was the tire, someone threw something out and we ran over it and the tire popped right then and there....
Dylan locked up the breaks and kept us swirving a bit to slow us down before we layed the bike down.
A few weeks and i'll be good as new. =)
Thanks for your concern
If you wanna see some pics just say so and the next time i change my bandages i'll take some haha.
|
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| You have to CHECK out this Band... |
[5.25.05 - 8.30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 accomplished |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Duh |
] |
Eisley
The lead singers voice is emaculate and it's beautiful.
Here's the lyrics to the one I'm listening to now =)
I wasn't prepared
oh, when the day is blue
i'll sit here wondering about you
and how the pollen fell
all around your face in strange yellow patterns
but, i wasn't prepared for this
oh, i wasn't prepared for this
when the morning came
the bees flew down and
wrapped themselves around me
and that's when i spoke the word
to have them trace your face for me in pollen
but, i wasn't prepared for this
oh, i wasn't prepared for this
come, come back to me, my, my darling
come, come back to me, my, my darling
i wasn't prepared for this
oh, i wasn't prepared for this
when the day is blue
i'll sit here wondering about you
I wouldn't mislead you it's fucking beautiful.
Also other bands you might like if you like this...
The Mars Volta (thanks chris), Loveage, Kings of Leon...
Awesome fucking summer time music.
|
|
| Sorry I'm not here much |
[5.24.05 - 12.25am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 excited |
] |
I will comment on all of all my friends journals soon
*sighs* summer time is busy for me.
I'm like a flower. I am dead through out the winter
and as soon as summer comes I bloom, usually make
a new set of friends and have a great summer.
I'm sorry :(
I don't get alot of time to write let alone
read. and I'm really sorry. I'm taking two days
off. Tomorrow and the day after.
I am interested in every one of you and your lives.
And I still comments so someone is interested in me.
Thanks.
OH YEAH. I have no reason to complain anymore
about a year and some odd months going without sex.
*BAH*!
hahaha
ahahaha
hahaha....
|
|
|
[5.22.05 - 1.38am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 ENVIOUS |
] |
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
Hell yeah that was fun and I typed it all out by myself NO COPYING AND PASTING!! Muahaha.
I was bored.
and in need of [BLEEP]
|
|
| !!!! |
[5.22.05 - 1.22am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 Bouncy! |
] |
Has anyone seen Star Wars?!?!?!?!?!?!
I haven't, but some jerk on the radio fucking ruined for me.
I won't tell you what he said if you haven't seen it.
*stomps*
Update completed.
*does a jig*
|
|
| Gorillaz- Feel Good Inc |
[5.16.05 - 5.00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
Excited |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
MUAHA |
] |
New song for the summer!!!
LET THIS MOTHER FUCKER BEGIN!
FEEL GOOD INC
[Damon Albarn]
City´s breaking down on a camels back.
They just have to go ´cos they dont hold back
So all you fill the streets its appealing to see
You wont get out the county, ´cos you´re bad and free
You´ve got a new horizon It´s ephemeral style.
A melancholy town where we never smile.
And all I wanna hear is the message beep.
My dreams, they´ve got to kiss, because I dont get sleep, no..
BEEP
Windmill, Windmill for the land.
Learn forever hand in hand
Take it all in on your stride
It is sticking, falling down
Love forever love is free
Lets turn forever you and me
Windmill, windmill for the land
Is everybody in?
[De La Soul]
Laughing gas these hazmats, fast cats,
Lining them up like ass cracks,
Ladies, homies, at the track
its my chocolate attack.
Shit, I´m stepping in the heart of this here
Care bear bumping in the heart of this here
watch me as I gravitate
hahahahahahaa.
Yo, we gonna go ghost town,
this motown,
with yo sound
you´re in the place
you gonna bite the dust
Cant fight with us
With yo sound
you kill the INC.
so dont stop, get it, get it
until you´re cheddar header.
Yo, watch the way I navigate
ahahahahahhaa.
(Feel Good[4x])
[Damon Albarn]
Windmill, Windmill for the land.
Learn forever hand in hand
Take it all in on your stride
It is sticking, falling down
Love forever love is free
Lets turn forever you and me
Windmill, windmill for the land
Is everybody in?
[De La Soul]
Dont stop, get it, get it
we are your captains in it
steady,
watch me navigate,
ahahahahahhaa.
Dont stop, get it, get it
we are your captains
in it
steady,
watch me navigate
ahahahahahhaa.
(Feel Good....)
|
|
| It's Saturday |
[5.14.05 - 2.39pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 Thankful... it's Saturday |
] |
I don't get to go out much but there is one designated night a month that I do. It's one saturday a month and it's when my dad's band plays at Sweet Aromas... So I'm pretty happy to be getting out of the house, even though there is insane thunder and rain going on. I won't be able to hear it tonight...
And I figured I'd update with my horoscope for today... heh.
Quickie:
Guard your health carefully. Be moderate and clear your mind. Try meditating.
Overview:
Someone at work has either nominated you for an award or been talking you up to your superiors. It probably isn't someone you'd ever expect that sort of thing from, but guardian angels come in all shapes and sizes.
Daily Extended:
When you least expect it, a coworker will do you a tremendous favor -- and you'll be doubly surprised by it. In addition to not expecting this particular person to ever go out of their way for you, you'll be pleasantly surprised to note that they also won't want a single bit of credit for it. They may even try to be totally anonymous in their efforts to help you. Don't make a big deal of it, but do offer them a wink and a smile.
Daily Flirt:
There's a lot of business going on all around you, probably more than you can deal with all at once. Try to focus on the one person, place or thing that excites you most.
Daily Singles:
If you pay more attention to taking care of your own heart than anybody else's today, you're going to have a healthy, happy, heartily beating one. (One that goes pitter patter when appropriate!)
|
|
| Mudvayne - Happy? |
[5.12.05 - 11.13pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 Drained |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
One Guess? |
] |
In this hole
That is me
The dead are rolling over
In this hole
Thickening
Dirt shoveled over shoulders
I feel it in me
So overwhelmed
All this pressure centerizing
My life overturned
Unfair the despair
All these scars keep ripping open
Peel me from the skin
Tear me from the rind
Does it make you happy now?
Tear me from the bone
Tear me from myself
Are you feeling happy now?
In this hole
That is me
A life that's growing feeble
In this hole
So limiting
The sun has set; all darkens
Buried underneath
Hands slip off the wheel
Internal path-way to contention
Peel me from the skin
Tear me from the rind
Does it make you happy now?
Tear me from the bone
Tear me from myself
Are you feeling happy now?
Are you
HAPPY
Are you
HAPPY
Are you feeling happy?
In this hole
That is me
Left with a heart exhausted
What's my release??
What sets me free?
Do you pull me up just to push me down again?
Peel me from the skin
Tear me from the rind
Does it make you happy now?
Tear me from the bone
Tear me from myself
Are you feeling happy?
Peel me from the skin
Peel me from the skin
Tear me from the rind
Does it make you happy now?
Tear me from the bone
Tear me from the bone
Tear me from myself
Are you feeling happy now?
Does it make you happy?
Are you feeling happy?
Are you fucking happy?
Now that I'm lost, left with nothing
Does it make you happy?
Are you feeling happy?
Are you fucking happy?
Now that I'm lost, left with nothing?
Edit
Well.. I lent my x-box and my awesome games
to my brother and he's had it for a while
and he calls me today to tell me he broke it.
"Replace it." I say...
"No, you shouldn't have lent it to me." He says.
And that is that.
So I went to walmart today in hopes of them having one
in stock.
Not only did they not have one in stock but walmart's
price on an x-box is higher than you would find it somewhere
else.
Pfft....
I want to fucking play XMen while I'm high and I can't.
What a dweeb.... And he has money out the ass...
With two jobs and he just sold his car..
Pfft....
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